The Process of Healing Meditation

Just got back from a week long meditation retreat on 7 point mind training with my mediation teacher Alan Wallace.

Have started a collaboration with one of my fellow Shamatha retreantants to use the energy of the meditation to heal our bodies and those of all sentient beings.

A diagnosis of cancer really motivates.

Maharaji has guided me to  do all sorts of things  and continues to do so. When I was  your age I was lent some siddhis including the ability to disappear in front of anyone who was looking at me while they were looking at me. It all went to my head back then, Maharaji told me to stop messing with them,  but now the real purpose is becoming clear. Maharaji demonstrated to me that the impossible is merely a set of assumptions that have not been explored and with the spiritual technology available plus creative development of even more aspects of the technology plus a deep and growing faith the Maharaji's ability to guide the process, any type of healing can be done.

Here is a copy of the initial suggestions as to what the process is:

(1) Samatha–– Full body awareness, with emphasis on the earth element.

(2) Vajrasattva Practice of Purification ––Imagine the gunk being pushed out by light.  (Head to toe).

(3) Vajrayana––Visualization of pure light (form realm / deity yoga) emanating from the body and expanding into the field.

(4) Samatha––Awareness of Awareness

(5) Tonglen. (Tibetan: གཏོང་ལེན་; Wylie: gtong len) is Tibetan for 'giving and taking' (or, sending and taking), and it refers to a meditation practice found in Tibetan Buddhism.

In the practice, one visualizes taking onto oneself the suffering of others, and giving one's own happiness and success to others. As such it is a training in altruism in its most extreme form. The function of the practice is to:

    * reduce selfish attachment
    * increase a sense of renunciation
    * create positive karma by giving and helping
    * develop loving-kindness and bodhicitta
    * it refers to all of the Six Perfections of giving, ethics, patience, joyous effort, concentration and wisdom, which are the practices of aBodhisattva

The last element is the deep and growing faith in the guru. ie Maharaji.

This has to be learned felt and experienced ala "lest they see miracles they will not believe" so I am getting Maharaji's course in love and miracles.

This morning it consisted of hugging a friend who has a mother with heart problems and a husband who just spent a week in the hospital. SHe was transformed with having been hugged while vibrating at the heart. My common form of Maharaji showing me a miracle.

Having a meditation here Thursday and one of the folks is an archeologist who tells me that because I live on a high spot, the top of a hill and the top of the hill has a petroglyph on it that this is an American Indian sacred site. I am going to ask her to talk a little about how to bring back the sacredness and what the Indian's ceremonies might be.

That has led me to start purifying the site in order to transmute the energy from the mixed bag they have been and propitiate the spirits.

Gathering sage and cedar for a purification of the house and environs.

7 Point Mind Training

           My hip hurts, my left knee is sore and I have a cramp in my left foot. I feel absolutely wonderful. I climbed up Camelback mountain the tallest Mountain in Phoenix yesterday and did it in a relatively rapid rate. Got into doing it without preparing well enough so I am sore today.

          People call me up and tell me the latest cures for cancer. Joe asked me about these calls and observed that perhaps they are calling because of their own mortality. If I discorporate from the society it reflects upon the diminution of their own world . Much along the line of Dryden's poem admonishing " to ask not for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee."

          BUt this is not the mood that I am in. I spent this morning repairing the ramada in the  back yard. The wood beam on the south side is separating and to repair it I have been drilling holes from top to bottom  every two feet in running length and dropping 17 in. bolts through the holes. When the bolts are tightened they draw the separating pieces of wood back together. By having a two by four underneath I am able to straighten the beams and reinforce them to so that the structure will last many more years. Not as aesthetic but it does preserve the structure.

           I am preparing for a week long meditation retreat on 7 point mind training, taught by my friend Alan Wallace next week in Santa Barbara. It is a prescription to relieve the suffering of existence by dedicating the merits of actions to the benefits of all sentient beings and to follow the teaching of the dharma. I will elaborate.

           I met Alan at a Lucid dream retreat . The experience of lucid dream allows one to realize the dream like nature of existence on  more and more profound levels. Using that insight there are practices that lead to this awakening, among them meditations on the great kindness of everyone and other meditations .

         For me the most compelling is to use the process to apply towards unfavorable circumstances. Cancer seems to qualify as an unfavorable circumstance and this meditation and study  is the best method to cure the mind of its fears.  I am still studying and will say more later.

          

More interviews with Joseph Dillard

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1. How to deal with frustration and turn it into a useful tool.  

2. Dealing with la  Prima Amiga.

3. Lucid dreaming more.  

Tell me a dream you remember.  It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand. 

I was in a university setting attending a conference about medical businesses.  After a long conference of sophisticated people from academia and business we decided to go for a ride along a beautiful mountain ridge with spectacular views like the Blue Ridge Parkway.  We had some difficulty getting up tot he road because there was a rough patch and the car was not made for it.  I was a good enough driver to get us around the rough patch.  We were congratulating ourselves for our ability to understand what was going on in tis medical conference because we could disseminate the information to less sophisticated people with a great deal of ease. When we got to the top of the ridge the road was completely blocked by six large tree stumps.  There are no roots on them.  They are like a six foot tall tree wall. They have been transported there and pt there to block the road. They are very uniform.   It’s quite vivid.  The scenery was all green and then these brown tree stumps straddle the two-lane road.  There is no possibility to go around them. Behind the tree stumps are three older American cars - Pontiacs, Oldmobiles, Mercury types from the late 70’s.  One’s red, one’s white, and one is blue.  I got really frustrated and then I woke up.

Why do you think that you had this dream?

Alan Wallace had said in his lecture to become aware of your location, what you’re doing, who you are (role), and how you are feeling.  I meditated on frustration for the next half hour. Everything that’s frustration in my life came up.  How do I get my relationship with Prima Amiga on track?  She lives on a Ridge and works in a university setting.  I talked to her last night.  I have everything available to me to start dealing with my frustration and learn to be more lucid in my dreams and make my life more magical, to see that everything is a dream.  At that point I can start manipulating the dream.  

If it were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee? 

Stumped Again!

These are the characters in the dream…

If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?

The tree stumps.  

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Tree Stumps would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

There are six of us. We are wood. We were uprooted.  As we were laying on our sides our root structure was cut off at what would be two feet underground so it’s flat.  Our tops are about six feet tall and very thick. We are cut off again at the top.  It looks like a crew cut.  We are uniformly lined up so we occupy the width of entire street so no one can get by.  Fred tried to move us and got to the third one, in the middle after he had successfully moved two, that he couldn’t move.  He tried to physically move me, like the first two.  Then he got a crow bar and tried to leverage me but I wasn’t moving.  He thought about using dynamite but he didn’t know where he could get any.  He tried to move me by pushing me with the car but that didn’t work, so that thoroughly frustrated him.  

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

We are good-looking, we are strong, we don’t move. When we are put somewhere we stay, like we’re supposed to.  

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

No flexibility.  No give.  No nothing.  We are just here, like government regulations.  Termites, wood rot, old age, death, death, disease. But at this point we are good and solid.  

(Character), you are in this person’s life experience, correct?  They created you, right?_____  Tree stumps, what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?

The part of him that puts up blocks when he allows himself to get frustrated.  

Tree stumps, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

As part of Fred, we wish we could be supportive instead of obstacles.  But we are fairly impersonal.  We do what we do because we are what we are.

Why is this road blocked in the first place?

The people up the road don’t want to share.  There is another way out.  They don’t want through traffic.  

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 10 We know what we’re doing.

Compassion:   5 We don’t care one way or the other.  We’re just here.  

Wisdom:   8  

Acceptance:   9 We’re here just because we’re here.  Our self-acceptance is high. 

Inner Peace:   9

Witnessing: 10 We can sit and watch it all go by all the time!   

Tree stumps, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

Compassion was low. We don’t care much about anything.  If we were a ten we would be more flexible, more able to move and creative. We could become an arch or bridge or gateway or the interior of something.  We could become whatever form we wanted to be really compassionately helpful. We could turn ourselves into wings on put us on the side of the car so they could fly.  We could help Fred.  

Weren’t you put there because you weren’t compassionate and because you had a firm structure?

Yes.  We were put there as an obstacle.   We were put there because of our lack of compassion.  When we think about it, our acceptance is very low because of what we are doing.  It’s not true that we were high in acceptance. We are at 2’s or 1’s.  

How would the life of the person who created you be different if he naturally scored high in all six of these qualities all the time?

He could do lucid dreaming.  That would propel him down the road of understanding what he wants to do really quickly.  It’s a very creative way of dealing with what is in front of him.  He would know the illusory nature of existence and could experiment with it on all forms and levels.  It would all be play, like being surrounded by fifth graders.  (I used to teach fifth grade.)  He’d have so much fun!  

If you could live the life of the person who created you for him, how would you live it differently?

I would encourage him to become more and more creative in everything he does.  That is the hallmark of being alive and staying alive.  That helps others to do the same - to stay alive.  When it comes time for them to die it helps them to do so with constant awareness and to go into their next life with love and compassion.  

If you could live this person’s waking life for him today, would you handle his three life issues differently?  If so, how?

Frustration: With awareness!  With lucidity!  He would be able to be highly creative very quickly now, in real time.  The frustrations would be tools to help him become more creative rather than be perceived as obstacles.  

2. Allie: by doing the above - it’s the nature of what she does - if Fred is creative she will be more drawn to him.

3. More lucid dreaming: As he becomes more lucid the access to creativity becomes more pronounced and becomes a circle that feeds on itself.  

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of his life?

They would stay the same.  

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for this person to imagine that they are you and act as you would? 

Whenever he’s dreaming to recognize that frustration is a key to creativity.  Also when he’s awake.  Things then change!  His perspective changes, that of those who he is talking to changes. Then he can help people more!   

Why do you think that you are in this person’s life? 

Because we represent those frustrations he hasn’t figured out how to deal with. We are an opportunity for him to address these issues.    

How is this person most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?

Fall asleep! Forget that everything is a dream!  When he gets frustrated, angry, and hurt to draw back in, pull back in, when the opposite is what he needs to do.  

What would you recommend that they do about that?

He should instead take several deep breaths, relax as much as possible, and let us clear the road by ourselves. We’ll move out of the way.  

What about those red, white, and blue cars, tree stumps?

They have their keys in the ignition!  They won’t be that much of an obstacle. They are vehicles!  They will carry me where I need to go!  He needs to go to a patriotic place.  He needs a larger vision of what it means to be an American.  It’s been built too much around economics.  It’s a further barrier that he needs to address.  The medical conference was about sophistication of finance and how Fred was self-congratulatory about how much he knows.  It’s where Fred was most comfortable with his expertise.  

I think this person had this dream because

he is in the position of opening up relatively quickly to new ideas and more aware of blocks to awareness.  We are just another thing in the road that needs to be addressed.    

I think this dream event happened or (some character) was in the dream because...

The residents down the road remind Fred of Jupiter Island, Florida, an enclave of very rich people who don’t want a road running all the way through it.  It’s well guarded.  You only see vegetation or a driveway or mailbox.  You rarely see a house.  We are tools of the people down the road. They represent a part of Fred that has used his awareness of economics to defend the system.  That lets him live on “Jupiter Island.”  But now that doesn’t seem to be working for him.  It’s now blocking him toward more creativity.   

What have you heard yourself say?

It rings very true.  I have used my economic knowledge as a tool to think like these people to hang out here.  But once you’ve gotten there, so what?  It’s not creative.  You can just get more stuff.  And stuff is stuff. Whereas the real creativity is within.  The real healing of oneself and others is within and doesn’t have much to do with that stuff.  I’ve got to unblock myself and that can help others as well.  It has to do with becoming more aware. Then things emerge.  People tell me I’m an inspiration.  I have more support than I realize.  I am just not aware of it.  It’s pretty humbling (cries). I just overlooked this.   

Tree stumps, what are Fred’s humble feelings and his tears about?

Recognition that he’s just ignored and not appreciated and not taken into account how much love and kindness there has been in his life.  

If he had, what difference would that have made?

He would have had a much richer interior life and been much more aware of what was going on around him.  

If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of who you are, what do you think it would be saying to you?

Tree Stump: Treat Fred with loving kindness.  He responds to that so very, very strongly.  He needs to treat himself that way much more than he does.  He tends to be much harder on himself than he needs to.  Just to treat himself as a human being.  It’s something he has to work on a lot.  

Do you have anything else you want to say to Fred right now, Tree Stump?

Remember you’re loved!

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person. As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has — or ever will have — something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”

— Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

Start thinking beyond this life

This is the result of an interview with the dream yoga  teacher  Joseph Dillard.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1. How do I create magic in my life and other people’s lives? 

2. How do I dance with people? 

3. What’s the best way or ways to serve.

Imagine you are on your deathbed, looking back over your life.  Imagine all your dreams have come true.  What do you see when you look back?  How has your life unfolded?

Oct 12, 2009, in my 62nd year, was the big wakeup call when I became alive.  Maharaji was tecing me everything.  The intial recovery took a few months, the intermediate phase took longer.  I spent some time in India at Maharaji’s ashram where I got the message of what I needed to do for the rest of my life.  It became a dance at that point, an analogy I got from my dance instructor mother.  I learned to treat everyone I meet as a dance partner.  From that point on I danced through the rest of my life.  I gave up a lot of the constrictions I had when I was married.  I became an accomplished yogi that helped others learn how to listen to and follow their own inner path.  This continued for many, many years, accomplishing the things Maharaji wanted me to accomplish.  

Now imagine that you are on your deathbed, looking back over your life.  Imagine that NONE of your dreams have come true; in fact, all of your fears have come to pass.  What happened?  How do you feel?  

I follow what everybody else tells me to do.  I do what doctors tell me.  I did the chemo, I went to the Prostate support meetings.  I got involved in drug trials testing new drugs.  The more I did it the fewer people were around me because I didn’t hve the energy to be in their lives.  I ended up going into nursing homes because I couldn’t take care of myself.  The money I had got drained away and I died a pauper in pain.  

If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?

Black and red!  

Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.  

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What? 

An anvil and hammer.  

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering - that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Anvil and hammer, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I am a standard large anvil, solid steel, weighing at least 500 lbs with a point on one end.  Immovable, almost.  Powerfully built.  As the hammer, I am good, solid, that works with my partner to bend things that are very hard, like steel.  

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

We are dependable, strong. We know what we’re doing. We can bend and shape things.  

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

We have crappy social lives!  No one comes because they want to hang out with us.  They are only around us because we are tools. We are not desired in and of ourselves.  People don’t quite understand us. They think that if you hit an anvil hard enough it will break. But the hammer is what breaks, not the hammer, if something is going to break.  

(Character), you are in this person’s life experience, correct?  They created you, right?_____  (Character), what aspect of this person do you represent or most closely personify?

Base chakra stuff. Things he used for so long.  Any of the chakras.  He knows how to bend things.  He knows how to make things move.  

Hammer and Anvil, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

No, we’re happy with who we are.  

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 10

Compassion:   5 It’s all bent to the goal, which is more important than  compassion.  You just do it.    

Wisdom:   5 I don’t learn from the mistakes of others.    

Acceptance:   5

Inner Peace:   5

Witnessing: 10   

Hammer and Anvil, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

Compassion: He would use us much more judiciously.  If all you have is a hammer and an anvil, than every problem is a horseshoe...The hammer can beat out gold as well as dross, and shape it finely. 

Wisdom: Look at other people! See how they are screwing up and learn from that!

Acceptance: Accept that you can be different and be wise about it!

Inner Peace: Doing the art of goldsmithing rather than working on raw iron!  It would be more gentle and effective!  

How would the life of the person who created you be different if he naturally scored high in all six of these qualities all the time?

The level of subtlety he would require would be quite pronounced.  Learning the dance is so appropriate for him, dancing with his own self, with the universe, with others.  

If you could live the life of the person who created you for him, how would you live it differently?

He’s doing them.  He’s changing all the time!  

If you could live this person’s waking life for him today, would you handle his/her three life issues differently?  If so, how?

1. Creating magic: Keep dancing!  

2. Regarding dancing with more people, keep your mouth shut, don’t think about people, feel them.  When that feeling is prominent, move with the steps that need to be taken.  

3. Service:  Turn it over to Maharaji!  It’s his perogative. Be more open to that.  

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of his life?

The same ones.  They are the key to a rich and fulfilling life.  

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for this person to imagine that they are you and act as you would? 

All the time!  There is always a more open and loving way to do things!    

Why do you think that you are in this person’s life? 

We are an important part of who Fred is.  We are part of his soul.  

What do you think about this person’s nightmare?

It gives his fears a reality that he needs to accept and then choose not to do it.  It can be a choice rather than a destiny.  

What do you think about this person’s good dream?

It’s also a choice, not a destiny.   

How is this person most likely to ignore what you are saying to them?

Falling asleep!

What would you recommend that they do about that?

Stay awake!!!!   Open your heart.  It provides the right answers.  

I think this person created this nightmare because....

He created it.  He has to recognize that it’s a choice that he has to make.  

What have you heard yourself say?

Bending and turning things; they gave me a long time perspective.  The decisions I’m making now will affect a lot of people for a long time. That was a surprise to me because my time frame has been so attenuated since I got my cancer diagnosis.  It’s been hard for me to see that the decisions I’m making now have long term implications.  I was the wife of a samuri in the height of that time in Japan.  I was good with money and kept my husband financially secure.  I was a respected member of the society with money and influence.  I also had a son, who I have met this lifetime.  I spent a bunch of years toward the end of my life as a Zen nun.  

If this experience were a wake-up call from your deepest, truest inner self, what do you think it would be saying to you?

Get out of thinking in terms of one lifetime.  See the big picture.  Go back to understanding that your choices are not for next week, month, or year, but how what you does can have an impact on your soul and future incarnations.  

Learning about and bearing witness

       Today I did what I am best at and that is sitting silently waiting. I am again doing hospice volunteering in the Eleventh Hour program. I was called yesterday to attend to a seventy year old gentleman with Alzheimer's who was breathing his last. I arrived at noon and took my place in his room. His roommate was a very frightened man who left when I sat down and I did a prayer and the ran my hand over his aura. I have very sensitive hands and generally when I run them over an aura, (Therapeutic Touch), I can feel a general warmth of the body but B's body  was less than an hour from death and the sensation was similar to running the hands near ice. I felt warmth but it was my own and the aura was exceptionally difficult to feel.
        His wife came in and I asked if she wished to be alone and she did so I sat out in the garden waiting and reading Bernie Glassman's book Bearing Witness. Just as I finished that work, which is of the reflections from meditation retreats in Aushwitz and on the streets of New York, C walked outside and had tears in her eyes. She said he was dead. We sat together for awhile and we hugged. We talked a little, she composed herself, started notifying the relatives, and then I alerted hospice of the situation.
       There is an awkwardness that happens in those moments that my guru speaks to me very clearly and commands me to do things that are not natural for me, perhaps for others but I have to push myself to go towards people in grief especially if I do not know them. I do it and watch the awkwardness as part of staying aware. It is always an honor to be in the situation and I treat it with the deepest respect.
       Given the state of this body and its diagnosis it is surprising how much I want to do this or perhaps not.
        I spent the weekend talking to several fascinating individuals. My ex-wife's ex-best friend was my Saturday experience. S had the same type of experience in departing from L. I shared my hard won insight with S and she grokked it immediately. That is how the ex is and accepting that makes life more fulfilling. Forgive and accept is the only successful way to deal with her, it makes you feel better which is the best outcome one can hope for in the circumstances.
      After we left that topic we talked about sensitivity and healing for an extended period of time sharing different  stories and insights about how to experiment with consciousness. There is much more there to share and we will.
      I particularly like how she climbs into one of the trees in her yard and becomes wrapped in its energy, she describes it beautifully.
      Sunday was with W and her son D. He is one of the most emotionally available and sensitive men that I have met. He is also a gifted psychic who described to me at length some of the history of his experiences. Making the weather accommodate was amazing, he carved out a spot between rain clouds that  allowed him to make an outdoor meal for friends that had been waiting anxiously for the meal for days and then when he had completed his task  the heavens let go.
     More will be heard of him in the future I have know doubt.