First stay in a hospital & the feet of the guru

        Two weeks ago I had a ct scan that indicated a growth in my lungs. It was inconclusive as to what it was so a biopsy was ordered. Supposedly an outpatient procedure it was to take an hour or two and then return home. Instead the lung collapsed and the I was placed into the hospital for 5 days. A tube was inserted into the pleural sack , the area around the lung, and air was sucked out  which allowed the lung to expand into the area until the puncture healed itself well enough that I could breath without difficulty arising.
       Yesterday I was released from the hospital and am recovering. THe biopsy revealed valley fever ,a fungal infection common around here , and not prostate cancer of the lung.
       COmplicates treatment and we are having to weigh the circumstances as we go.
        Thanks to Richard for transporting me to and from the hospital even though I could not give him a release date which through his schedule through the wringer.

   And then there is the other story. Back in Virginia Allie has a neighbor whose land we  hike on quite often. In the beautiful foothills of Virginia the hike leads to the top of a ridge upon which Poppy has built a labyrinth . In the center of the labyrinth is a small rock altar and when I was hiking with Allies last year I placed a picture of my gurus feet with flowers sticking out between the toes.
   To the hunter who stumbled across this bucolic scene visions of torture and foot binding came to mind. Taking some amazingly bad photographs he notified the police who realizing that they were out of their depth turned this over to the FBI.
    Following up on the lead the FBI then questioned Poppy about the photographs presence on her land . An explanation about the reverence ,such as adorning the toes with flowers ,that is accorded to the feet of the guru went far and beyond comprehension of the G-men assigned to the case . However realizing that there was no crime that had been committed they  left Poppy .
     Poppy's husband Wayne did have her remove the photo.

Long time

             Since my last post I have gone through chemotherapy and while the results were good the report from the doctor today suggests that they were not long lasting . PSA is going up dramatically and my options are narrowing again.
            I am weak and have been in a couple situations where life and death were  very close .
             All this is dramatic and I have been through a lot but the more I endure the more at peace I seem to become. Not to say that I am blissed out all the time I am not , but when the emotions and physical pain come they are not  something that I make mine but rather observe a passing phenomena . Makes the process much easier. WHen I first started chemo I went to a meditation retreat with SHinzen YOung , the first day I could not walk 100 yards and slept continuously by the end of the retreat I was spending my time in a Jhana ,  a state of meditative adsorption so deep and profound that prose cannot describe and only spiritual poetry can allude to . Available to all it lessens fear of dying by the realization of identification with that deep state of being, rather than the corporeal and emotional form that is frightened ,decaying , and wasting.
       I have not given up upon the life that inhabits this mind and body but I realize that I am greater than the form and identifying with it is a losing proposition .

        My beloved whose name is Allie has taught me much . Lao-tsu said that " Being deeply loved gives one strength and loving deeply gives one courage." That has been my beloved Allie's teaching to me , it is a great blessing one for which I a m deeply grateful.
        Today also saw the reappearance in my life of one my oldest and dear friends , Diana, we have know each other since grade school and merely take up our conversation where we left off. She and her husband are in Az for a few days I am delighted that I will get to spend some time with them.
        Also got a wonderful you tube  http://youtu.be/3MXU4d2w5VI about a great little Corgi like mine going for  hike, got it from aka Scott Mumford another good friend whom I have not given enough thanks for his kindness and compassion.
        I also want to thank my cousin Rebecca ,although the word niece is more appropriate. When I stared the chemo she came a spent 5 weeks with me and it was one of the most enjoyable and educational experiences of my life. We read together every day discussed whatever was on out minds , learned from the teaching of Shinzen Young, walked and delighted in each others company. I love the songs that are in her heart and come from her at the most delightful moments. She is wise beyond her years and is a blessing to whomever s life she is in. I am proud to have her as a relative and more importantly, as a friend.
        I have been very erratic in my posting  and no doubt will continue to be but whomever is left reading it thank you for the good wishes and kind words they are appreciated.