The news from the Hope cancer center just arrived and the results of the effectiveness of the Jevtana chemotherapy are in. The drug is no longer effective  and I will have to change the method of treatment.
            It is disconcerting to have to do this since it the closing of a door that might have lead to more effective results .
            Monday it has been arrange for me to undergo a CT scan to determine the extent of the cancer and if it has gotten into other systems of the body. If the cancer has remained in the bones then I may be eligible for a different treatment Radium 223 di chloride trade named xofigo. This is what is said about it:

Radium 223 mimics calcium and forms complexes with the bone mineral hydroxyapatite at areas of increased bone turnover, such as bone metastases. The high linear energy transfer of alpha emitters may cause double-strand DNA breaks in adjacent cells, resulting in an anti-tumor effect on bone metastases. 
  
                   This is just another step of the reluctant child who does not want to go home but rather want s to keep playing ,the benevolent universe is very tolerant and loving and will let me continue for awhile more. 
             There is a story of Buddha towards the end of his life voiced the recognition of the sweetness of life and how there is a wish to continue . I still have that wish . 
             I am not entirely dismayed by the news because chemotherapy is a particularly stressful approach it induces nausea, diarrhea , constipation and exhaustion.  Not to have to endure that is a blessing.
            What I wrote in the previous email I have been persuaded was not entirely correct. In my discussion of the nature of somatic or kinesthetic awareness I believed that the body does not have the chance to live either in the future or the past but must remain eternally present. 
               Much my understanding of the body  remains in flux and I learn continually. The example that changed my mind  is that the body retains a physical memory by tightening and loosening muscles which over long periods of time harden into set patterns of thought and behavior . When I was a massage therapist many years ago I would often notice that by touching someone in a particularly sensitive region of their anatomy, they would emote . many times without any pressure the client would cry or relive some traumatic incident in their lives.
                  The memories that emerged were vivid and immediate . Even if the incident was distant in time and had no conscious recall  prior to the session. 
                   So the body does retain the past in its formation but  the future is a different matter. One can visualize or talk about the past and now I understand that the body does the same things in the muscles and sinews , but  I await some evidence of how that relates to the future for  somatic awareness.
                 Other alternatives are available including a mixture of some drugs that have failed in the past but together they may have an effectiveness and a different type of chemo that has worked before called taxotere.