I spent Some 3 and one half hours in meditation in the all night meditation sit know as the yaza. I thought there were going to be several people there from some of the way folks talked but there were only 2 others when I arrived and after 50 minutes one of them left. T the leader and I went for another 3 hours almost. Then I felt tiredness coming and went to bed.
began with a meditation on pain. Specifically I felt some tension in the perineum which allowed me to meditate on the image of something fearful ie prostate cancer , the thoughts of something fearful the consequences of cancer, and an inner feeling of fear of painful death, As I watched each one of these broke apart and changed into something different leaving me with a net neutral in all three. Then I brought awareness to the body and relaxed the face and arms then the feel the shoulders then calves working my way steadily to the actual sensation. By the time that I arrived with consciousness at the destination the sensation was almost gone.
Another lesson; Do not try to work with the most intense area of pain but approach the point elliptically The actual pain will have reduced significantly and then can be fully brought into awareness. The flavor of the pain can then be examined along with time of waves color and any synesthesia effects , etc.
It was quite an education about the capability of the meditative system that I am learning. My meditative skills are becoming very good they need to be.
9 am--- Just did a meditation in which I brought awareness first to a point then transfered that awareness by letting go into an exquisite union with the divine, ? I sat with that awhile using the cognition of subtle laxity and excitation to bring this into finer and finer sates of bliss. Noticed that the body became part of the bliss, at one point and than realized that I could move this bliss of awareness into the abdomen and pelvic girdle ,the area that needs love the most in this body. Spent the rest of the meditation feeling love flow from the heart into that area.
THen the bell rang and it took awhile to unwind from that . I will practice more after breakfast.
10 am- How much the mind wants to return to the comfortable old ways that it knows. Leaving breakfast I noted an ad for an artist's home near here with beautiful views on 4 acres . Immediately the mind was wheeling and dealing to figure out how to acquire that beautiful property. It was completely away from the moment and into the future. While not ten minutes before the mind stopped thinking in the in the middle of a bite of food and the higher self washed over the somatic body. Leaving after maybe 5 minutes of bliss and totally in the now.
2 pm- This place has internet service, got a late email from the ex. Also got to see what the market did. I was about three days premature in my prognostication. Shinzen has mentioned working with me on the project to get money for the young meditators. I had an insight on how to do that . I hope to engage him in more extended conversation at the Sweat lodge on Sunday. The morning meditation was choice less awareness a zen form of mediation it is easy once you get the basic steps that SHinzen teaches. I could do it in a heartbeat however now that I am beginning to understand some of the finer points of the various mediations I recognize that I easily go into Kundalini meditation from that point and that would be further than Shinzen is socially set up to accommodate. Fulling acting out and SHinzen has not gone their yet or if he has he is not prepared to teach it.
6 pm - whew, Just did 2 1/2 hours of meditation culminating with a deity meditation. Becoming Maharaji somatically , auditorially and visually. Becoming ones guru with a great deal of intensity is amazing but in hind side that was what was suppose to happen anyway. THe idea in Buddhism is not to become a follower of Buddha but to become a Buddha. Also took a 45 minute hike.
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