A day in the life

           I had an unexpected invitation to a fire puja this morning for a participant in a Chenrezig (a bodhisattva who embodies the compassion of all Buddhas) retreat. I watched as the mind went from disbelief, to detached observation, to understanding, to honoring the participant and her work. The teachings come faster.

My mother has a memorial plaque about a mile from the location of the puja, tara called for me to stop and pay homage. (Tara is a tantric meditation deity whose practice is used by practitioners of the Tibetan branch of Vajrayana Buddhism to develop certain inner qualities and understand outer, inner and secret teachings about compassion and emptiness) I could not resist. I bowed to the ten directions and gave thanks for the blessings being bestowed upon me.

Upon reaching home I indulged the body in the exercise it has become accustomed to.

The paperwork of the day had me filling out the forms for the cardiologist visit that will take place this Tuesday. I realized how angry I was becoming as the form went on at length. It was redundant. Asking for the same information on the same side of the same page, it was interested in the form of payment for the visit in almost as great length as the questions as to symptoms . It did not give me hope or even an inclination of healing. I have moved far from believing in the allopathic medical model.

It also again reminded me of my vulnerability and my impermanence.

I had lunch, slept, and then an intense meditation. Lasting more than 90 minutes. This picture is a good representation of the struggle. All of the elements were within the meditation . Charon, the river Sty, the struggle, and even Dante.

In writing this I have gained insight.