Return of the Prodigal Son

                    THe meditations are becoming an art. Every time that I sit to meditate there is a greater recognition of the dreamlike nature of reality. Every time I get caught in one reality I am learning skills that will allow me to escape the effects of the grasping mind. Sometimes these realities return time and again to give me lots of practice .
                     My neighbor, the wrathful aspect of compassion ,stopped yesterday to tell me of a prostate cancer meeting in LA in Sept. and threatened violence if I did not go. "Hint ,he is not a salesman", I may go but all I could think of at the time was that to kill this body would only hasten then inevitable.
                        Death has become a friend, it keeps me on track. I now have a new way to order my existence. Formerly I would order my existence around living financially frugally . I still live that way but it is not the organizing force in my life. Now the question becomes does the decision follow what the heart recommends . Since I still am dealing with habit patterns of many years the heart is not my absolute ruler as I wish it to be but rather something to which I must closely attend in order to live wisely.
                         I have meditated perhaps 5-6 hours today and am going to return to do more this evening. It is falling into a deep contentment that is the appeal. Round that road are many detours that the mind would like to follow but always returning to the substrate conscious mind is the practice that I am involved in . From the substrate much emerges and in returning to it much vanishes.
                         THe four immeasuarbles ; empathic joy, compassion ,loving kindness , and equanimity , become mediations which applied artfully lead to a balance of mind which is focused and relaxed. Currently the meditation which I am using a great deal is the one of loving kindness. To realize that not only my guru whom I consider the embodiment of the 4 immeasuarbles is not only some one to look to for guidance but to have him become me in the meditation of loving kindness is as fulfilling an experience that I currently can imagine. But with help and guidance from guru the experience will be deeper and also fulfill the other part of my desire and that is for others to feel loving presence in their own lives as I feel him in mine. Since mine is not a jealous god, whatever manner that brings that presence, whatever metaphor is used to achieve that insight is to be honored and respected. Bless you all.
                                Among the many blessings that I am experiencing, one that is quantifiable is the results from the bone scan. My expectations were that there would be relatively no change, the results however point to the improvement in the bones.
                          This of course can and will be argued by the scientific materialists as to the effectiveness of the drug Zometa and I am not currently capable of refuting the entirety of their arguments at this time. However to completely ascribe the results to any one drug that is being administered is in my opinion myopic.
                                If the more one feels fulfilled and at peace with dying the clearer the decisions and the wiser the path. By following wisdom peacefully one can begin to avoid what the great yogi Shantideva observed in that people attract to themselves the very thing of which they are most afraid. It is a very interesting balance to let go of the grasping to life only to realize that in that letting go life becomes richer more fulfilling and dare I say healthier.

                                Physically it has been an active week. The usual Vitamin C transfusion coupled with acupuncture for hay fever, and the transfusion of Zometa has been the medical regime. Hiking the mountain in the picture twice has been on the agenda. Doing so has also caused me to begin to give thanks to the spirit world of the ten directions. S, SW ,W etc.
                         There seems to be much elation from those spirits in being recognized by one who has been so negligent in the past. I feel like the prodigal son .