Prima amiga

Two weeks ago I was given me the opportunity to be with my prima amiga.

The week with my prima amiga was pure play with a beautiful being with whom I share a deep intimacy and with whom I am learning to allow for barriers of my own making to dissolve.

The play is both childish and profound. From the mere physical pratfall to the deeply intimate revelations of the soul. Dancing together, merging our bodies as a single being. Trying on different persona both dark and light and seeing it as divine play. Laughing and crying at our predicaments and our infirmities. Enjoying the subtlety of the mind or joking about the gross emanations of the body. The nature of being who we are, tempered with the setting of boundaries for defining self. Finding the balance. Realizing that the balance is only in the moment and that the next moment calls for a new balance.

Seeing the breadth of desire on my part with her to have things stay just as they are and yet wanting to have things change. An impossible situation which makes life and experience so achingly beautiful.

Learning to let go is difficult but that is what death teaches and that makes for a beautiful set of moments. Letting go of pleasure and pain and becoming less attached helps me transcend myself. That transcendent awareness is so fulfilling that a new set of attachments grow. Those new attachments are more subtle with new desires. Letting go again transforms all of this into deeper and more subtle awareness and the cycle begins again.

The desire on my part to keep this from never ending yet fully aware that with proximity that change will take place and that it is all in the illusion of time. The new balance is being sought.