SHINZEN YOUNG Retreat 11-11-10

     IT IS  8:30 AM -Got cold last night so I turned on the space heater in the room. Noisy device which covered up the sound of the wake up bell.. Got dressed in a hurry speed on down to the Zen-do and as i was about to open the door the red light went on . The protocol being stay out when the red light goes on.  Well all dressed up and no place to go. It is cold and i am layering all of my clothes. 

In this heavily layered apparel I came back to the room and meditated for about  an hour then went back to the zendo to realize that I had missed the exchange period of going in or out and noticed that the sun was rising . Back to the room for the trusty camera which  I brought. Searching for the most scenic spot was easy just go up . The highest point on the land was where i wound up with the cactus and the thorns in my pants and everything but got some good pictures . 

Signed up for the sweat lodge on Sunday ,don't know all that much except it is intense heat followed by cooling that takes place four times. My doctor gave me the full moon pill and said take Friday night so not to interfere with the sweat. It is great to have a doctor who is not only unfazed by the thought of meditation and sweat lodges but adapts her strategy to maximize the gains to be had by doing these activities.

Have my final outside call for doctors appointments today, setting up an appointment in LA with some specialists. I don't have any great faith in their expertise  but the drug called pro venge which is approved by the FDA is wait listed and i figured that these guys have better access to getting their patients on that than the oncologist that i am going to in Phoenix.

Also may pick up a voice mail from prima amiga. who is on retreat at the IMF Center in Barre,  Massachusetts , it fills me with joy to hear her voice.

IT IS NOON -No voice mail ,but got the appointment made for the 23rd of Nov. in LA. don't know if i will fly or ride thinking of flying then can do it in 1 day rather than drive to LA/ I would be able to see G a good friend of the prima amigas and get a sympathetic ear perhaps , but  LA is just a hassle to get around in and Turkey day will be two days later letting me believe that transportation will be gummed either flying or driving.

Felt fine today, felt so good that I feel asleep in the meditation hall, someone had to awaken me from snoring. I just have to be careful about that. Sometime there is a fine line between going into bliss and going to sleep. I am going to stay up late tonight to  meditate with Shinzen in what is called online meditation. He has you sit in a small room connected to him via a telephone and he gives instructions,in an individual manner. If i can stay awake I have a raft of questions to ask  .

The moment is paramount at the retreat . How do I approach each and every moment with completeness, joy , and love?  For when those are filling my life , the decisions that I must make will be motivated and fulfilled with those conditions.

IT IS 4  PM Going to take a shower and maybe do some sack time. 

Well went to the hot tub instead sat in the 8 fold bath of the upper middle way with B a cognitive psych professor from u of G .  We had a few good laughs naming the right things for out 8 fold bath like, right temperature, right time  right location, right companions,right food, right drink ,right conversation etc. 

IT IS 6PM Did not intend to do so but went to the meditation, a 90 min job thought I would last maybe 30. Turned into the best meditation here so far.

What I call the meditative adsorption  or Jannas became the meditation  ; 90 minutes of bliss.  I think Shinzen and I  are talking about the same thing. with some questions either this evening or on the online sessions I will find out.

It is 11pm We are talking about the same thing. I got exactly what he meant I use differnent words. Learned about the concept of flow in the senses watching the walls feeling the body and listening for the quality of sound that proceed hearing within and how with awareness in these outer and inner form nothing remains static and to observe these changes constitutes fllow. A more difficult practice , but i have it ! Now just do the practice tomorrow.