Shinzen Young retreat 11-12-10

       AMONG THE TOXIC PARTS OF THE PERSONLITY THAT  CONSTITUTES WHat is called I is the unattractive and injurious  self pity. While it is not  an overriding theme in the personlity it exists there. THis mornings meditation was upon feel and  a new concept flow. 

When thoughts arise for me they are often accompanied by an inner feeling to them. THere is a somatic response to I love you when thought about myself it is pronounce the thought I hate you has a different response and is not one in which healing easily exists. 

Those being more extreme examples, THe thoughts that come up are around how in this morning the prima amiga could do more to help me  followed by how muhc I care and love her then followed by some type of guilt leave a definite somatic impression and the flow of those physcial impressions were the whtat I ws ws observing theis morning. THey physically feel  as  flow of feeling that are moving in  and around the body s they are more carefullly scrutinized they are changed from something that is a pejorative to something that is just flowing phenomena. Neither good nor bad. As they begin to fade in awareness there is what SY calls gone. THey are not in the field of awareness. At that point there is a mere emptyness that can be enjoyed in various meditative forms of which the shamatha practices that I am good at become very easy to slip in.