The stuff that hits me is intense and sometimes overwhelming M when she was here saw one of the meltdowns. A quick recovery but lots of pain and suffering during the process. THat process is not going to let up either. so what should I do. THe strategy I had needs to updated and enhanced . Before what I would do when I noticed an afflictive emotion was to passively observe it , that works to a point but I need to be more effective since these afflictions are coming at an increased rate and shown no sign of diminishing. Therefore the new strategy is to watch as things become intense and rather than observing I feel where in my body there is tension and then exaggerate that muscle tension as much as possible , something like the old Canadian Air Force stationary exercises I learned a long time ago.
It can lead to some intense emotions in a big hurry but once they are felt intensely they go away when I relax the muscles. This is the new strategy I will use it until I need something stronger.
Have move much of my stuff from the back yard the railroad tie garden that I had had back there for 20 years is gone. Removed J's stuff from storage so a friend of his can store it at his place.
Saw the internist BW today and got tested for allergies. I seem to have a mess of them. I am going to work with them so my immune system is free to work on the difficult process of dealing with cancer and not get distracted.
Have not heard from SHinzen Young but there is an old story that one has to ask a Zen master three times before they acquiesce to help. Letters phone messages count for two so tomorrow I call again.
Am going to here Michael Schapiro the local Jewish Mystic. He sings gives a talk and I dance, sing and listen. A good thing to do on a night when it is cold and I would like to be with people.
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