It is time for a bit of reflection and repose. Since my last posting I have gone to Los Angeles to interview a cancer oncologist . Returned somewhat shell shocked had two very intense nights of meditation ,made appointments to see two more oncologists, spoken to my internist about what is available in the way of treatments, talked about the meetings with a shaman, got a transfusion of Zometa, worked out every day at least an hour, dispose of all of my picture albums ,and slide carrousels , and have managed to meditate at least two hours every day.
The meditation is what keeps things together. I have become so attuned to the states of mind and body and how to not go into suffering that it is becoming something of a second nature.
In LA I found myself falling into fear n the doctors office. What I was able to do in real time was to break the parts of the experience into their constituent parts explore the consciously and then rearrange the parts to my benefit and stableness of mind. I necessity in the situation.
This is not easy but I am getting lots of practice so that i am getting good at it.
Went to a book discussion group last night the subject is Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson I could keep focused on what everyone had to say and could pretty much recall what each of the ten people had to talk about.
I disposed of all the metal that I had in the yard and am sending the ivory statues to all of my cousins grandchildren. Also am painting the house in preparation for sale.
Now I will be returning to meditation and thence to bed. I am tired.
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